Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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