id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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