Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize