I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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