We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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