bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just found puke in my bra..
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
