I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
