Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize