id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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