so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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