No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
