Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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