Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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