Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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