M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
