dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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