Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
