You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
