never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize