Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
