I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
