your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Will exercising make me less horny?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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