ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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