the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
