sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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