Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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