I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
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