You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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