A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
