where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
