Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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