Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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