I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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