don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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