you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
