my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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