hotel room ftw
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
