how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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