She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
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I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
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She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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