Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
