Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
