There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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