Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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