seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
