the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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