Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize