I'm really into asian looking animals
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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