i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
