1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Where is the hickey?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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