My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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