HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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