I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
