I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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