Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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