The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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