Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
