you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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